It is actually
somewhat scary that in recent weeks there are a number of people I know
personally that have died!
It came as quite a
sad thing and a shock that someone whom I knew from when I was 5 years old
passed away last week. I had seen her just a couple of weeks ago and she had
looked fine. She was only in her late 50s.
Then this past week
there was an old lady of 98 years old, who I happen to be friends with her
family, passed away. She was old and sickly, and I could see it coming.
But still, Life
seems so fleeting sometimes. It is so fragile and delicate. As a famous author
once said "...you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For
you are a mist that appears for a little while and then disappears."
None of us truly
want to die, and those who do, well they are in great pain.
Of course with death
comes mourning, grief and funerals. I have lost people I care about. I grieve
for them and miss them dearly.
But I am not one for
funerals. Its just one of those things that I cannot face. I have friends who
have lost loved ones, and as dearly as I love those friends, I just cannot
bring myself to attend those funerals.
I am a living,
breathing being. The dead know nothing. So what good is my moping around and
weeping and wailing at a funeral going to be? How will my attending a funeral
help anyone? How will anyone attending a funeral help?
I would rather love
you, give you flowers, talk to you, laugh and cry with you, than do all those
things "in memory" of you.
I know that saying
all of this probably sounds crass and harsh and cruel and unkind, but I dont
get why that is our social common. Death is unnatural, there is no escaping
that fact. Therefore the way that each individual living person deals with
death is unique, and yet there is no true "correct way" to deal with
it, there is no wrong way either.
Possibly my darkest
and harshest thought as far as funerals goes is my grandmother who died nearly
3 years ago. I loved her dearly, and spent many days with her. When she got
cancer I was at her bedside at least part of every day for about 2 months. But then
she decided (who knows why!) that she wanted to go to America to die. I was
devastated, it tore me up inside to say goodbye to her, because the day she
climbed on that plane, we knew that was the last time we would ever see her.
And yet as tragic as
it was when she died, I was relieved. Relieved that her intense pain was gone.
But also relieved that she was on the other side of the world when she died and
that I didnt have to attend her funeral. Because if she had died here, I dont
know if I could have dragged myself to her funeral. My own grandmother's
funeral I dont believe I would have actually attended!
So, when I tell my
friends that if they are doing something stupid and dangerous I will not attend
their funeral, they can know its true. If someone I care about dies, I will
still do everything I can for their loved ones who are mourning, I will still support
them and love them and help them. But I will not attend that funeral.
My friends and loved
ones know this and yet they still love me. Aren't they the best!
As for me
personally, I don't want you guys to have a funeral for me. Funerals are
miserable and depressing. Wakes, well those sound awesome, but are rather
unscriptural, so that is out of the question.
What I would prefer
is that you all have some form of happy event, celebrate that you knew me
rather than mourn my being gone. Laugh about the good times, and be happy that
I'll be back before you know it. 
Or even better,
message me now, right this minute. Or come visit me now, while I am alive and
well. Dont say you'll wait till tomorrow, dont say you'll wait to visit next
year, because life is so fleeting and everything changes.
Maybe you or I will
get into a car accident this week, perhaps I'll suddenly get terminal cancer,
or heaven forbid you catch ebola. My dear friends, life is fleeting, let us be
friends now, not after we're dead and gone and have to think of all the "what
ifs".
