Impulse Buying - Oops

So last week I was sick (no surprise there) and stuck at home inside most of the week. As any self-respecting twenty something year old in this day and age, I spent a considerable amount of that time on the computer and on the internet.

I'm telling you, pinterest is great entertainment when you're bored.

But like the rabbit hole in the fairytale, sometimes the internet is like a hole that sucks you into its own world and lost there for a while. And occasionally you do things you otherwise wouldnt.

Me, well I'm really not much of a shopping type of person. Rather I am a "saver", I tend to save all of my money for a big purchase and then unfortunately end up blowing it all in one foul swoop, of course after almost endlessly researching the item I want to buy. How do you think I managed to earn myself a car?

 

But last week, unfortunately I decided to head on over to bidorbuy. Seriously, bad idea. You see, I had been bored at home with brain fog of note for over a week. And now there was finally something interesting!

So there I went, through all of those exciting R1 auctions, of course every R1 auction has a high shipping price that is non-negotiable.

"Ooh" I think to myself "a R1 starting price for a pretty swarovski crystal necklace, and its so dainty. The shipping charge is high, but if I bid on a few other items from the same seller, it drops the shipping price." I reason with myself, and quickly bid on it.

"And oh look here, fairy lights. Those are always useful for my business with the proposals, I'll bid on that"

"Ahhh, how cool is that, a nice pretty pink tazer" click there went another bid. 

Now the thing about BidorBuy is that once you have made a bid, there is no undoing it. The next day when I realized what all I had bid on, I cringed. But, said I to myself, I kept all my bids really low. And in times past I have always found that things I really wanted were outbid fairly soon. So I sat, in nail biting anxiety for a couple of days, a wave of relief flowing over me each time I got an email ping saying "You have been outbid."

Unfortunately for me I was not outbid on about 10 items. UGH!!! 

And so a day or two later I began getting the "exciting" emails that said "Congratulations, you have won the auction on ....! Please pay" or that affect.

As each email pinged on my phone I cringed. What on earth had I just done.

So there I sat, wondering if I could possibly get away with contacting the buyers and saying "My unruly daughter hacked my account and bid on all sorts of things, please cancel my orders". But my conscience wouldn't allow me to do that, darn, I wish I wasn't so honest!

Well, I have paid all the prices now, and hey, at least I'll be getting some fun stuff arriving in the post soon. Hopefully, if the South African Post Office has finished their +-8 week long strike and actually delivers my stuff.

Thing is, I know I'll use it all. Its just that a "bargain is only a bargain if you actually need it". If you dont need it, then its not a bargain anymore, its rather a wasteful price. Which is the price I'm paying for flu-ishly impulse buying.

Lesson learnt, no more going onto bidorbuy unless I'm actually selling something or REALLY need something.

WHY? Here's Why....

Fact: I do not celebrate birthdays or Christmas or Easter or valentines.

The main reason for this being that I choose to serve God and try to make him happy as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. The history surrounding these pagan celebrations is horrific. But I wont say that "I dont celebrate these holidays because I'm a witness", my decision to not celebrate these holiday is my own well informed choice.

Birthdays

The customs of celebrating, congratulation, offering gifts and even cakes complete with candles in ancient times were there to protect the birthday celebrant from demons and ensure his security in the coming year.

It was also to celebrate people as important, almost a form of worship.

I worship no human, and I dont want people worshiping me. If you want to tell me you care about me, frankly it offends me that you reserve it only for one day a year.

As for clients who tell, beg and plead with me to help them on my closed days because "its a birthday", it makes me want to help them less, not more!

Christmas

How about Christmas? Santa Claus who is actually another rendition of St. Nicolas which is actually satan. And of course 25 December is NOT when Jesus was born, think about it, really, the shepherds were out in the fields tending to their flocks in the middle of the night. Late December in the northern hemisphere is midwinter, and no shepherd or sheep would be found outdoors at that time of the year. Xmas was actually really a ploy of the Romans around 100 or more years after Jesus died in order to convert the pagans to Christianity, so they brought the pagan rituals across and  called them christian.

Easter

Now there's one, easter is supposed to be the celebration of Jesus' death. This is one that they at least have at the right time of the year, yes He did die around about mid March- mid April. However everything else about easter is false and pagan! It yet again boils down to loads of PAGAN religious practices, practices that God explicitly told the Israelites and later the Christians not to do.

The easter bunny and the eggs all symbolize the gods of fertility (breeding like rabbits...) because at that time of the year in the northern hemisphere spring has sprung and the bunnies (and all manner of other creatures) are making babies. Yup, and you send your kids to go chasing after gods of fertility. Hmmmm, I wonder why they're sexually active at 12 years old?

I'm not going to go down the line of Valentines, Halloween, St Patrick's Day, and the plethora of other holidays and celebrations that you and I know are actually not so great.

The biggest argument most people use nowadays is "But that was 1500 - 2000 years ago, we don't do this because we're celebrating that, we're doing it because its fun, its family time, its nice for the kids."

Yes, maybe so, but here's the thing. Do YOU love God?

Think about the bigger picture, God was in existence and has watched the comings and goings of thousands of generations, he has watched the start of these practices. Imagine, he was watching when some of these practices included the sacrificing of live babies in fire to pagan gods and he was disgusted. If you had witnessed those atrocious acts, every single time you heard a christmas carol, or saw an easter bunny, even if they are not used for such disgusting practices right now, what would run through your mind? Undoubtedly the awful memory of screaming babies as they burnt to death while their parents sacrificed them. The picture etched in your mind as people self mutilated in honor of their false gods. Or perhaps the thought that all suffering those people put themselves through was for nothing!

God has a perfect memory, he too remembers that, every single time!

When I consider that, I am not enticed by the green and red of christmas, I am not excited by a valentines card, or happy when I see an easter bunny, I am disgusted, repulsed. I also want to do the things pleasing to God, and these celebrations are obviously not.

That is why I choose NOT to celebrate these things.

But that's not to say I don't believe in having fun, in sharing good times with family and friends, or even in giving gifts.

I love giving and receiving gifts. Time spent with my loved ones is the time I cherish the most. And I love to have fun. So here's a thought, why wait for a birthday to give a loved one a present? Why wait for christmas to spend time with your family? Do it NOW, Today or tomorrow. You don't need an excuse to show your family and friends that you care.

Kidding yourself?

Possibly the biggest difficulty for anyone with a chronic problem is constantly second guessing yourself.

With a person who has gangrene, there are visible problems that cant be denied. Even a person with cancer can see their problems in test results. A person with heart disease or a bipolar can even be diagnosed.

I dont mean to be crass or careless in stating that. Its just the way life deals with us.

Whereas a person with, lets say Chronic Fatigue, Fybromyalgia, or even stress and burn out doesnt have conclusive test results. You dont get a pience of paper or an xray that says in black and white that you are honestly sick.

Seldom is a person with one of these silent and invisible ailments a lazy person, because well, lets face it if a lazy person got it, they wouldn't know because they were never active enough to know what its like to be restricted.

But you get a young person who is fit and healthy and intelligent and wants the most out of life who is suddenly incapable of doing almost anything. And although it is a very very real problem, you find not only are others questioning the person's motives and problems, but the person themselves.

Yes, I am talking from experience, both my CFS experience and my current burnt out issue.

I find myself sitting, gasping for breathe, unable to move, physically in pain and so I give up. I rest, and slowly as the day proceeds I begin to feel power seeping into my veins, and so I do a little bit. But now I'm scared, I'm scared that if I do too much, I might end up unable to do anything again.

And so I sit and rest again. And while I'm sitting there, I begin to think. I try not to dwell on my inabilities, I do not want to wallow in self pity. But at the same time I find myself thinking, not for the first time, am I truly unwell or have I just become lazy and complacent?

Because no seemingly vibrant, young twenty something woman likes to consider the consequences of admitting defeat and saying "I'm unhealthy" or "my body cannot continue".

Its one thing when old people get that, no one likes it, but old people have had a good life, they've been active and in their ripe old age its understandable that they slow down. But for a young person to get their minds around it is so hard.

And when a loved one or a friend asks you to do something, you know you want to, but inevitably you end up letting them down, or hurting yourself more in the process of attempting to help them.

So you begin to withdraw from others, as you see the accusation in their eyes. You can almost hear them thinking "she's lazy and using this as an excuse" or "who does she think she is, the queen? She has to start pulling her weight."

 

You push your body to its limits and beyond, which inevitably gets you worse off. And you know, deep down inside you just know that this is a very real problem, a problem that you have no physical control over.

But that question is ever lurking in your mind "Am I just kidding myself? Am I truly physically unable to do this, or am I being lazy?"

Ladies Only

Now In the name of fair warning, this may quite possibly be the most awkward blog post I ever write. To any males reading this particular post, unless its about your daughter or wife, I NEVER want to discuss this with you. In fact I would actually prefer if you could please stop reading about now. But if you intend to proceed, I dont want to know about it, OK?

But that said, I promise there is a good reason for my writing this.

Only ladies beyond this point please

Ladies, its something that affects every woman. Yup, sometimes known as "Aunty Flo", your "monthly", or of course the usual name of "period". That's right, I'm talking about that terrible menstrual issue.
Its a rather awkward subject for most of us, and personally I do not know anyone who actually enjoys getting theirs.

I remember as an 11 or 12 year old a group of us girls talking excitedly about hoping we get our periods soon, because that was a passing into womanhood. Wow were we all wrong.
Now I know, pfft.

It is the two tough weeks of the month, the week leading up to it which includes pimples, bloating, nausea, cramps, diarrhea, constipation, headaches and extreme mood swings. At least for me. I know some ladies who get it way way worse.
Then comes the bleeding. What male could survive 4-7 days bleeding without going to an emergency room? Meanwhile, us ladies have to "just deal" with it monthly.

Of course you get the insensitive men who come to you randomly and say "oh, are you moody/tired/sore because of PMS" and I want to go all "Kill Bill" on them (no never watched the movie, but I have been told a loose storyline of it), because "if I had to bleed to find you annoying, I would be anaemic!"

Of course those 4-7 days of bleeding dont mean the other problems of the week leading up to it stop, no they tend to get worse.

And then every woman has to make the choice, will you use the slightly cheaper pads which are frightfully uncomfortable, awkward and smell bad? Or will you use the expensive and yet so much more comfortable tampons, which are also convenient. Although there is always that long, small print warning label about toxic shock syndrome'
Of course neither is fail proof, and inevitably you'll be standing at the basin in mid winter freezing your fingers off while trying to wash the blood stains out of your favourite pair of panties. (Trust me, its worse when you live on a farm and the toilet is a walk down the garden path and the basin is outside)
Pads mean no tight jeans or swimming. Tampons are often 'dissed because uneducated people say you're losing your virginity if you use them.
Personally I hate both, but I hate pads more.

But, now I promised that there is a good reason that I am doing this particular ranting blog. And NO, its not because I am on my period. It is because I have recently found a couple of things that make this awful thing a little bit easier to deal with every month, and if I have found something that makes it easier for me, I feel that I have a duty to share that knowledge with others. 

I chose to share it with you as a blog post rather than individually as it seems a bit rude to be pushing such intimate things on to my friends, so if you are interested in knowing more, feel free to drop me a message or email and we'll talk.

First thing is an app I downloaded (it is available on android and windows store, unsure about istore or blackberry) called Period Tracker. I find it useful because it helps to tell you when your period is going to arrive. Ok, yeah you can do that in your diary on calendar, but this does all the math for you. You can add in any symptoms or whatever it is that you want to add in. After a couple of months it becomes really accurate. So if you need to plan a special event (I'm looking at you ladies planning your weddings) you can know which is a safe date. It also has its own password protect and its just got a symbol of a flower, so no awkward explainations if you lend your phone to someone. For those ladies who are married or in a relationship (I'm blissfully single, and proudly virgin, and plan on keeping it that way for a long time to come), it also has a sister app which is a pregnancy tracker.

Second, I'm very big on not being in pain. Period cramps are quite likely the worst cramps/pain I have ever felt (heavens if this is what my body does to celebrate not being preggers, thats enough to make me sure I never want to fall pregnant!), I'm quite willing to take a pain killer for that. The pain killer that I have found actually works is Spasmend, it also happens to be one that does not need to be taken with food. I also daily take evening primrose oil and B6 supplements, they help to reduce the cramps in the long run and help with the mood swings.

Thirdly, the latest thing I have discovered that makes the monthly monster easier to deal with is thanks to my cousin. My cousin was kind enough to share information about Menstural Cups with me, she was also kind enough to get me one as a gift. I may have thought it a bit strange at first that I would get such an intimate item as a gift, however I am forever indebted and my life is changed.
A Menstural Cup is a medical grade silicon cup that is used like a tampon that never leaks!!! It uses a suction cup method to stay in, and you empty it and clean it out once every 12 hours.  Its silicon, thus does not carry bacteria or germs if its boiled once a month and rinsed clean when you empty it during your period. Its silicon, so it is said to last 10 years. No more awkward standing in queues or going to a male teller with a packet of pads or tampons. And yes, the initial cost is quite expensive with a cup costing an average of R300-R400, however think of how much tampons cost (on special you might be able to get them under R30 for a box of 16), in the long run its saving so much money and making your life easier. Its also surprisingly comfortable, more so than a tampon.
The biggest shock is that this is not a new invention, but has been in existence since the 1930s.

I also found two interesting blog posts on this that you may wish to view: 

18 Reasons you should switch to a menstrual cup, via BuzzFeed

and 5 Reasons to use a menstrual cup you probably hadn't considered, via Natural Parents

So ladies, the monster doesn't have to control your life, its taken me 11 years to figure out how to deal with it, and although its a somewhat awkward and embarrassing subject (I dont know why, it just is), I'm open to other suggestions on how to make it more endurable. I'm also open to sharing these things with other ladies. 

And the best thing of all, is that soon "outcry and pain will be no more" (Revelation 21:3-5), so hang in there, you're not alone in the struggle.