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04 July 2014

Wedding Planning vs Eloping

Before we get into this big debate: Personally I'm happily single right now. And no, that is not going to be changing any time soon as far as I am aware!

However, I have watched quite a few friends getting married. I haven't been to many weddings personally, and I really don't feel as though I have missed out on not going to weddings, honestly all the weddings I've ever been to are pretty darned boring (no offense to the couples, its just weddings are "bleh" in my opinion) and I would not have missed anything by not going.
 Engagement parties on the other hand, well those are much less formal and much more fun!

However I have to say, I really feel sorry for the bride and groom when it comes to planning their wedding.
Weddings are expensive, good service providers are often booked up to a year in advance. Not to mention venue hunting, just to find a venue that suits the couple and yet is still affordable.

Then there is the inevitable "Who do I invite?" question. Is it just close family? Or distant relatives? Is it close friends, or random acquaintances? And what about colleagues? Not forgetting that caterers charge per person.
There's the clothing issues, what dress - and what price tag. The suit/tux for the groom too. There's the flowers, the decor, and of course the "wedding party".
Photographs are a whole other thing, carefully choosing your photographer and what kind of photos are you going to have?

But then along comes great-aunt Mavis who insists that your 3rd cousins ex boyfriends sister-in-law must attend your wedding and is incredibly offended that you say no.
Or Mother Of The Bride has a disagreement with Mother Of The Groom over what shade of lilac each is going to wear.
Or the bride's maid who just doesn't suit wearing that color of plum.

That means a decent 6 months to a year of detailed planning, lots of stress and noses out of joint. The costs are also quite phenomenal, you will not get a wedding for under R10,000, however most weddings are upwards of R60,000!

And all for what? One measly day that is just a start of a lifetime! One day that hopefully will last a lifetime of happy memories.

Yes, I am speaking from experience and not just guess work. In 2010 I was planning my own wedding, I guess I could say fortunately, I didn't do too much as one thing led to another and everything fell through.

However, in hindsight, and looking at those whom I know are intending on tying the knot I see no reason why everyone doesn't just elope!

I Mean seriously guys, if your family and friends love you as a couple, they will understand. You pretty much just go away for the weekend and come back with a marriage certificate - kinda like they do "vegas weddings" in the movies.

Because really, I would rather get married that 6 - 12 months earlier and begin the new life than worry and fret over such petty things as flower arrangements and menu choices. 
I would rather spend that money I would have on a wedding on a new house, a new car, or the honeymoon.
Yes, perhaps have a photoshoot and have your parents and immediate siblings present, but why should anyone else really "HAVE" to be there? Yes, you can even have your pretty white wedding dress.

Because I will not ruin my future happiness because of stressing to please other people who wont be there when I actually need them.
So, in my opinion, IF I ever get married, I WILL elope. And you had better not be offended if you are not invited!

And for those of you who are "expecting an invite" to an upcoming wedding, even if its a "good friend"  --- DONT! Dont start going up to the engaged couple and asking them what colours their wedding is so that you can dress accordingly. Dont demand that a certain venue/food/decor item is used at their wedding (even if you're closely related), because its not your wedding!
Dont be offended/insulted if you dont get in an invite. And most of all  DO NOT GATECRASH!
Its just uncool if you do any of those things. If a couple wishes to keep their wedding small or simple, well its just not your place to get involved. Offer to help if you can, but don't demand or insist on your way, its not your day!

Rather celebrate the anniversaries, hopefully there will be many of those, than ruin the wedding day.

For those of you who are planning on getting married, if we're friends, know that I love you guys, I am happy for you, and I am also quite happy not to attend your wedding. That doesn't mean I have any ill wishes for you, I think you're great together, I wish you all of the best, and if you need my help in any way at all, just let me know.

Ok, so if you've read all the way to the end, well done. You make your choices, but as for me, one day you'll just see a random wedding photo of mine and that will be that.

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