In the days we are living, it is seldom that we find good news, and good reviews.  The thing is, people are so quick to whinge, and complain, and post bad reviews, and post online content that is not nice. Yes, we want to know where not to go. However, the good service often gets forgotten, you walk away from the service provider with a smile and an hour later you have forgotten the entire experience.

But today, I just want to send a shout out to the people at FujiFilm cameras and Game (Amanzimtoti) for their really awesome service!

In December I bought a FujiFilm JZ100, a lovely little point and shoot camera with 8 x optical zoom and 16 megapixel. Pretty awesome I'm telling you! I used that little camera really well over the last few months, but sadly about a month ago it stopped working, the lens just refused to open. So I took it back to Game (the store I happened to buy it at), they looked at my camera, and immediately sent it in for repair with FujiFilm.

I take so many photos, that I decided on getting myself another camera. It was a Sony CyberShot DCS-W630 on markdown at R400 from picknpay. The salesman at picknpay was very nice, and really went out of his way to help me get a new camera - but that's another story for another day.

About 18 days later, I was notified that my camera was back from repair. I went in to Game to collect my repaired camera, and was surprised by being given a replacement camera, and this one was an upgrade! 16 megapixels also, but with 12 x optical zoom, and a whole bunch of extra settings. Thanks FujiFilm.

Came home and immediately put it into use, but sadly every photo I took with it was fuzzy. At first I thought perhaps I was shaky and that's why it was not taking clear photos, however after putting it on self timer and using a tripod, I decided it was definitely not calibrated. So I packed it back in the box with all the accessories and back to game I went, really bleak this time. This was an amazing upgrade, and was so disappointing that it didn't work.

The poor people at Game customer service were getting to know me fairly well by now. They were just about as disappointed for me as I was with this return, and after speaking to the manager, they decided to rather just give me a refund. I was a bit sad, I really liked the new camera.

Paper work got sorted out and I went home.

4 days later, I decided to put my Sony camera's battery on charge. But shock and horror, I had accidentally kept the FujiFilm charger and sent the Sony charger back to Game! I nearly died, it had been my own stupidity!

Back in the car and off to Game, again, got to the customer service counter and explained my dilemma to them. After producing the FujiFilm charger cables, they phoned the warehouse out back and thankfully the box had not been send back to the supplier! Without a question or complaint the very kind ladies at the Game service counter went to swap out the correct cable.

So, I have a few "thank you"s, to Game Amanzimtoti for their amazing customer service (even when I made a stupid mistake), to FujiFilm for replacing my camera (although I really would have preferred to have gotten the replacement repaired rather than refunded), and to Pick'n'Pay Arbour Crossing for their awesome staff in the high tech sales department.

Domestic Hacks - Super Easy Recipes

The biggest lie I have ever told myself is that I can be domestic!

I can't. 

It should come as no surprise to you by now, my username for most things is "TomboyAmelia", in no way is that to imply I'm lesbian or a feminist. Rather the fact is that at 9, I was building bonfires rather than playing with barbie dolls. At 11 I was climbing trees rather than applying make up. At 13 I was showing the boys how to sharpen pocket knives instead of learning to bake.

And now at 23, well I would do almost anything to get out of boring old house work! 

The thought of the terrible four letter household swear words (Iron, Cook, Bake, Wash) give me the heebiejeebies!

But alas for the grown person I now am - as there truly is no escape from the dreaded household chores as an adult! (sob)

Fortunately, I have a mom who hates household chores nearly as much as I do, and I have google. So between those two, I have learnt some pretty awesome Domestic Hacks (for those of you who don't understand that, the current wording of "hack" is a shortcut to make your life easier when doing a certain job/chore) and this post is to share a couple of the really easy Kitchen Hacks with like minded individuals who may not know these tricks yet, and to give those who are household geniuses a good laugh at my personal expense. 

You're welcome.

I'm not a great cook. I have been known to flop boiled eggs! However, about a year ago, I discovered what has been called by some as "THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS CHOCOLATE CAKE"!

Why so dangerous? Because it takes 5 minutes to make, and tastes incredible! With such a quick  delicious recipe, I guess I'm about to put on weight.

Its easy to make, any idiot can do it (I am proof of that). 

You will need:

A large Mug & a microwave.

4 tablespoons Cake Flour

4 tablespoons Sugar

2 tablespoons Cocoa

1 Egg

3 tablespoons Milk

3 tablespoons oil

A drop of vanilla essence 

(sounds amazing already, right?)

You mix the dry ingredients in the mug, add the egg & mix well. Put in the wet ingredients and mix well again. Put your mug on a saucer (because its bound to climb out of your mug) and into the microwave on high for 3 minutes. And there you have it, a moist, delicious chocolate cake in 5 minutes!

I doubled the mix & poured it into 3 mugs for a family treat the other day. Worked perfectly.

Its winter here where we live, and even for Durban standards its been cold lately! Cold enough that I've been craving yummy baked things, like the choc cake above. But, I also discovered a kid's cookbook recently which has foolproof easy recipes! I browsed through it a couple of nights ago and discovered a super easy scone recipe (which cannot flop-yay), and this takes 30 minutes tops to make, nice!

You will need:

500ml Flour

20ml Baking Powder

2ml Salt

60ml Oil

1 Egg (the bigger, the better)

And enough milk to measure 250ml when combined with the oil & egg.

Start with sifting all your dry ingredients together. 

In a separate bowl, mix the egg, oil & milk. 

Fold the liquid mixture into the dry mixture, making sure not to over mix - just mix so that there's nothing dry left but not to make it a smooth mixture.

Pre-heat the oven to 200°c (400°f)

Grease (or sprinkle flour onto) a baking tray. Now put your dough onto the baking tray arranged how you like it (the recipe said to put it in ne big round lump and cut it, but I just dropped dollops spread across the tray and it still turned out nicely).

Put it into the oven for 20 minutes, or until lightly browned.

Serve warm with cream & jam.

Ok, now I've made myself hungry writing this, so while you drool over the recipes, I'm gonna go grab something to eat.

Happy (quick & easy) baking.

Why do I blog?

Funniest thing happened to me, I had this blog post planned out. Well when I say that, I mean I had the title and theme, but I had absolutely nothing to write. Because I really didn't know why I blog.

Then just a couple of days ago a friend, who for some unknown reason actually reads my blog (thank you dear ones who do read it, I appreciate you), asked me why do I blog.

The first reply that popped into my mind was the "Blogging is cheaper than therapy." You see, friends don't always want to, or have the time to, listen to your endless rants about all sorts of rubbish. That's a reason many people go to therapy, and a reason to blog in my case. My opinion, my thoughts, my random point of view are our there in the open.

But I laughed when this friend asked the question, because I realized I need to actually answer that properly if I intend to continue blogging.

Well, yes it is cheaper than therapy.

Its also a way to occasionally get cool stuff to review, that is if my blog gets enough hits and I'm good at writing, which I would like to imagine I am.

Of course blogging is also my way to imagine that my opinion really matters to someone. Because lets face it, every blogger I know (including myself) is opinionated, and that's not trying to be insulting, I actually don't have an issue with highly opinionated people. Now the unwritten social laws dictate that to our family and friends we do not constantly voice our opinions. However, on a blog, your readers are welcome to continue reading, or just exit at any time. So, you write as best you can, with as many interesting things as possible, but still throw in your 2c (or R50) worth of personal opinion. Then sometimes you hope someone, somewhere out there actually takes the time to read it, and sometimes you decide to rather hope no one reads it.

Another reason I started blogging, well actually the original reason I began blogging is that I had been pretty much bed ridden due to a debilitating and yet invisible disease called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome from the age of 16 until I was nearly 19. Having that disease I had a lot of stuff to say, to moan about, to laugh about, and to share with my family and friends. It was right about the time that blogging was becoming a fad, and so a wonderful aunt of mine suggested I start a blog and then when my family and friends had time they could read it. And so, begun my blogging.

So yeah, I suppose the main reason I blog is the fact that some awesome people (YOU) are reading and either fascinated by my opinion, or believe that it matters.

So let me tell you that it means a lot to me that you take the time out of your busy life to read what I write!

Inexperienced Curry Taster - Tuesday Laughs

Laughs for today!

So, I know this story has been posted on numerous websites, and for very good reason. I first read it around about 2002 and nearly died of laughter. Because the truth is this is how most of us feel when we experience Durban curry for the first time (or for me, every time I attempt Durban Curry), we nearly die!

Enjoy the laughs - best enjoyed by reading aloud with family/friends. If you dont understand it, come visit Durban.....

Inexperienced Curry Taster

Notes from an inexperienced curry taster named Frank, who was visiting Phoenix, Durban from the U.S.

"Recently I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a curry cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (couple of local Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event."

Curry # 1: Manoj's Maniac Mobster Monster Curry

Judge One: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge Two: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

Frank: Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These charo's are crazy.

Curry # 2: Applesamy's Afterburner Curry

Judge One: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

Judge Two: Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Frank: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Curry # 3: Farouk's Famous Burn Down the Barn curry

Judge One: Excellent firehouse curry! Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge Two: A beanless curry, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.

Frank: Call Colesburg, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all the beer.

Curry # 4: Barbu's Black Magic

Judge One: Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge Two: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.

Frank: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Savathree, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is curry an aphrodisiac?

Curry # 5: Laveshnee's Legal Lip Remover

Judge One: Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge Two: Curry using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Frank: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her curry had given me brain damage. Savathree saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Darn those charo's!

Curry # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

Judge One: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spice and peppers.

Judge Two: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Frank: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I messed myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that barmaid Savathree, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

Curry # 7: Sugash's Screaming Sensation Curry

Judge One: A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge Two: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of curry peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Frank: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel damned thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like stuff to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Forget it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.

Curry # 8: Hansraj's Mount Saint Curry

Judge One: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend curry, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge Two: This final entry is a good, balanced curry, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot curry?

Frank: (editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

P.S. To all my indian friends, I love you guys still, even if I point blank refuse to eat your curry ;-)

My After Armageddon List (note, not Bucket List)

Many people have a "Bucket List", its a list of things that they wish to do before they "Kick the bucket", although its a bit macabre, I understand why they do it. Life seems fleeting, life seems short, and each and every human being has dreams and hopes, things they want to do, places they want to see, and yet we seem to have a time limit. Therefore people create this bucket list of things they really want to do, and away they go to try and experience it all before they die.

As one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I personally have a hope of living forever on earth! I know that the world as we know it has indeed got a very limited time frame, but the promise that the bible has for our future, the promises that it has of living forever are oh so exciting!

Its not that I dont want to do exciting and fun things! But rather that I realize that there is an urgent need to help people in this world, as there are far too many people that have no hope. And without hope and a future, what are we really?

I wish to follow Jesus' command to his disciples at Matthew 28:19,20  

Matthew 28:19,20

and because I honestly believe that the time left to do this is very short, I have chosen NOT to do everything I know I could try to do now. 

I have chosen rather to have what I call my AA list, an AFTER ARMAGEDDON list. Because then we will have all the time in the world, and the perfect health to enjoy doing these exciting activities. It will be safe, and peaceful, so no one will worry.

What sort of things have reached my After Armageddon list?

• Travel the world on foot (or on the back of an elephant)
• Learn to scuba dive
• Become a science buff and invent something new
• Learn to ski
• Invent a safe way to do sky diving and paragliding and then go sky diving and paragliding
• Learn to fly
• Start surfing
• Swim with dolphins
• Explore the Greek islands
  
• Grow roses
• Dance in the rain during a lightening storm
• See the northern lights
• Sleep under the stars - without a tent
• Have a pet lion
• Swim in the carribean
• Watch an avalanche (from a safe vantage point)
• Visit a volcano
• Become an artist
• Become a beach bum for a year 
• Live in a cave behind a waterfall
• Build a tree house like Swiss family Robinson
  
• Meet Noah, Abraham and Moses (from times of long ago)

Really, my list could go on forever, and indeed I will be doing fun things forever.

Do you have an After Armageddon list?

If you do, please comment below and tell me what some of your list includes.

If you think this is pure craziness that I hope to live forever, visit www.jw.org and request a free bible study, or speak to any one of Jehovah's Witnesses and ask them why we think that living forever is a sure hope.

screen shot off of JW.org - go check out the worlds best website!

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly of cell phones and smart phones

In the last year or so I have had such cell phone issues!
A few years ago the cell phone contract my parents had taken out for me expired. As a self employed person, with no definite income, I decided that it would be highly unwise to get a new contract. If I run out of money and can afford a cell phone bill for a month, then with prepaid system I just stop paying. However if I had a contract, I could not just stop paying.


So I converted over to a prepaid system. No problem. After a while, my life being as it is the old Nokia 6301i that I had died a rather undignified death.


Thus I shopped around and found that the new cell I wanted was a Nokia Xpress Music 5130 (this was before smart-phones were available and affordable to the general public), so I bought one for myself at PEP Stores for R700 and enjoyed my new phone.
It was lovely, it had an awesome music system, with dedicated music keys. It had a basic camera function. And it had the basic internet functions, so I could access my emails, facebook, and even twitter on it.
 The best part though, was that it was nokia, nokias throughout cellphone history have predominantly been the Indestructible make of cell phones! Boy did that xpress music phone live up to that legacy! That phone went with me everywhere, sometimes unintentionally. It got dropped on the roadside, it got dropped at the beach, it fell in a bucket of water, it got chewed on by babies (I was baby-sitting) and horses, it got covered in food & dirt. There were even times it fell out of my pocket while I was riding horses at high speed and I had to go back and fetch it. But I regularly cleaned it, and it survived most everything.

However, phones are not made to last forever, sadly. And after about 3 years, when I would drop it (being the butter fingers that I am), I would pick it up with a new dent or crack, eventually after 4 years of having this phone and everything I put it through it gave its last pitiful ring. What an incredibly sad day that was!


So began the hunt for a new phone.
In the time that I had had the Xpress Music, Blackberrys had come into fashion, Smartphones had become affordable to the hordes, touch screens & qwerty keyboards had become the norm, and everyone either had bbm or whatsapp.
With almost all of my friends preferring the use on Instant Messaging via whatsapp or bbm and moaning at me on a regular basis for not having it, I caved in and bought a blackberry curve 8310 off of BidOrBuy!


Blackberry Curve 8310
So, on the plus side, my Blackberry had a decent camera, and I had unlimited internet access for R60 a month. I had a facebook app, a twitter app, gmail and BBM.
On the downside, I could not use my BB as a modem for the pc. It was an older model (although never used), thus it was slower and just really a rubbish phone. It had the dreadful trackpad, and a ghastly qwerty keypad.
It didnt allow me to personalize my ringtones, and was NOT user friendly.
I lasted one month using that phone before selling it. I discovered when trying to sell it, that because it was imported and was from china, it didnt have the correct legalities and thus shops like CashConverters were not allowed to buy it to resell it. However I was told as a private person, not a shop it was legal for me to sell it. Which fortunately I got it right.


The day I sold it, I spent a good 4 hours at the mall going through every shop that had phones for sale! I now had a criteria of what I needed.
1. Preferably Nokia - easy to use, and virtually indestructible
2. Regular old T9 keypad - which I had been using since I was 12 and could type a message really fast. Which I wanted because 50% of the time I am using a cell ohone while I am riding a horse and need to type without looking.
3. No touch screen - I had heard so many bad stories of touch screens and  if the screen dies, pretty much you have no use on the phone.
4. Internet access and whatsapp was definitely required.


Eventually after hours of legwork (literally) I decided on the Nokia 206. I bought it at Clicks for R699.


Nokia 206
Ah, what a relief it was to be back to the T9 keypad that I could work almost in my sleep. I loaded all my contacts, put in my memory card and my sim card and I was set. The only downside I could immediately see was that the Nokia 5130 had the dedicated music keys, and this one did not. But it had good sms & phone functions, it had whatsapp, facebook, gmail and twitter all as apps! It also had a semi decent camera.
However within a few weeks I discovered a few seriously disappointing negative traits about this phone. It had almost NO INTERNAL MEMORY, and therefore one I had just a few smses/phone numbers/call logs, it would stop working until I reset to factory standards! Its preloaded Facebook app crashed every single time I attempted to use it, and because it was factory loaded, I could not update it or uninstall it. It had a number of games apps (and I havent played cell phone games since back in the day when we had snake) that were also factory loaded and could not be uninstalled! So it was full of useless apps that were taking up all its internal memory!
Because its internal memory would make it stop working, I would regularly miss very important phone calls (like the 20 odd missed calls from mom that make me panic!) and whenI would reset to factory settings, all my loaded data, contacts, stored smses, etc were deleted!
This phone was supposed to work for me, but wasnt working. I cannot say how disappointed I was in the Nokia corporation for this so called "smart phone".


So back to shopping around for a phone after just 3 months :-(. Can I say I was getting despondent?
I looked around at shops, as I had decided I was now going to bite the bullet and get a decent smartphone. However all the retail shops were either giving them away dirt cheap on contract, or terribly over priced on prepaid. So I looked online and found a few good phones on BidOrBuy again. This time I did even more homework on them, googled them and checked out all the positive and negative reviews. Knowing that imported phones are difficult to resell if I am unhappy with them, I eventually settled with getting a dirt cheap Chinese import called Doogee, I got the Doogee Collo 2, and it only cost me R750.


Doogee Collo 2
This was my first experience with a real smartphone! 4" touch screen, duel camera, android 4.4 operating system, apps downloaded from google play store, duel sim card!
I joke with my friends and say this is my Dodgy imported phone. But it seems to work really well.
I downloaded the facebook, twitter, and whatsapp apps. Thats when I discovered its not the phone but Facebook's bad programming that makes the Facebook app rubbish! *uninstall* It also has an internal GPS card and google maps installed.
My only gripe is that only after I got the Doogee, did I discover that it too has the problem of pathetic internal memory! Oh joy! Because of this, the amount and type of apps I download is very limited. However I was able to "backdoor" download Instagram, yay!
I have had this phone for a decent 9 months, and other than frequently having to clear the memory, it has worked well for me. It has been dropped on the ground several times, and only when I dropped it while at the physio the once its screen cracked. However it still works well.
I can play videos on it and it has a good music player.
I have gotten quite attached to the Duel Sim feature, as cell phone usages cost quite high in south africa. So I have the best deal I can find for sms & phoning via 8ta on the one sim, and the other sim I have is a vodacom which has an incredible deal on the data usage.
The doogee has its own internal wifi hotspot so I can connect my tablet to the net at the same time too.


I have been a bit frustrated with the internal memory issues though, I mean thats the main reason I got rid of the Nokia 206!
So about two months ago, I began searching for a different phone, one with a decent internal memory but still under R1000.
Eventually I found the Samsung Galaxy Star, which had incredibly good reviews, good internal memory, and was a decent price. So I got it at Game Stores.


Samsung Galaxy Star
The first thing I discovered, much to my disgust, about the Galaxy Star, is that it takes one (yes I'm spoilt with duel sim) MICRO sim. So, because I dont want to lose my number or my current awesome deal, I allowed my sim card to be cut.
Its a smaller phone, so fits much better into my pocket. It has plentiful internal memory, so it could download bbm, whatsapp, the (new and improved) facebook app, twitter, gmail, instagram and even an antivirus app.
It also has a choice of android qwerty touch pad, or T9 touch pad.
It has never yet told me I have too little memory space to take a photo, load a new contact or download an app.
I'm not fond of it though. My Doogee has a bigger, better resolution screen. The Samsung works seriously slow, so yes it has bbm, but it takes me half an hour to write a message and send it. Its camera has ghastly specs, not that I really utilize my cell camera as I do have a point and shoot camera, but still......


So currently although I have the Samsung, I still have my Doogee and I put both sim cards into that most of the time. I use the Samsung off and on, but I am actually looking to resell it pretty urgently.
I will admit that I was a bit peeved and jealous when after watching all my cell phone woes for the last year, my dad learnt from my mistakes and got himself a really nice prepaid package with a cell phone from Neotel for R1000.
His package included 24gigs to use in 6 months, as well as a 4", Android 4.4, duel sim smart phone. It has 4gig internal memory as well as space for a memory card. Unfortunately he's had his phone for about a month now and it too is starting to give him hassles, its been dropping calls and losing messages rather randomly.


So my conclusion is that unless you're willing to pay R3000 or more for a decent smart phone, the chances are if you can make your old style nokia last, keep it! Whatsapp, bbm, instagram and all these other awesome apps are not worth the cellphone woes I've had for last year. And unless some whealthy benefactor decides to sponsor me with a decent smart phone, I'll carry on with my cracked screen Dodgy Chinese import that works alright for me.

Can broken hearts really lead to brighter futures?

I have on occasion eluded to a relationship of mine, an engagement, that was broken some years ago. And, well this blog post is not about all the gory details of that. Dredging up those wounds from the past would not only be stupid, but it would be harmful to myself and my loved ones.

What can I say is: I was a ditzy 18 year old who had always been told I was "mature for my age", I had been swept off my feet by a strapping 23yr old man who doted over me. I thought we were in love. Before we knew it, we were engaged to be married. We set the wedding date as April 17th 2010, and starting planning.

Plans were coming along well for the wedding as well as for our home after, but in February 2010 certain things happened and my world fell apart. I would like to imagine that the world of my ex fell apart as much as my world did, but within 18 months he was married to someone else. So maybe he wasn't as torn up as I was.

It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, rebuilding my life and figure out who I was after that!

I had it all planned out, "the white picket fence and a yellow rose garden", the whole housewife scene with a loving husband.

But now everything changed. I had a heart that felt destroyed. I had been challenged that without him I would be nothing. I had to heal the wounds at the same time that I had to figure out now what I was going to do with my life and get a move on with making it happen!

As loving as my family and friends were, this was not something they could do for me.

I can say my life hit a wobbly for the whole of 2010. I try to remember 2010 and it was all just a blur. I remember sitting on my bed and crying for days. It has been said that a break-up is a mini-death, you grieve the same way. I never understood it, until it happened to me.

At the same time however I remember thinking that I will prove everyone wrong, everyone who said I will be nothing without a man in my life. I went out the day we broke up and that was said and I started my own business! That was the first good thing that came from that break-up.

The break-up was more than 4 years ago now! I still am saddened when I think of it, but at the same time I am thankful that it happened. Because there are so many things in my life that would never have happened if that relationship had stayed!

• I was able to start my own business, and within 2 years of doing that business, I was able to buy my very own car - in cash!
• I had the opportunity to find a job, work for 6 months and then quit because I didn't like working for a boss.
• I bought myself a camera, and discovered I can take amazing photos! That led to yet another of my own self-started businesses. 
• I found new friends, ones that I would never have discovered if I was in a relationship. Friends that I have enjoyed spending time with, that I know now are friends I will cherish for the rest of my life.
• I discovered my passion for music (although I the only thing I play is a cd...) and have attended 4 concerts! All of music he hated, I might add, and I had never attended any concerts in my life before 19.
  
• I visited family members I had never really known before and started amazing relationships with them.
• I discovered that I am good at hiding pain! After a month or so I gave the outside world the brave face, but inside I was still dying until about a year later.
• My goals changed, I realized just how un-ready I was to settle down. A wanderlust grew in me and is now a burning desire to travel the world!
• The realization hit that I can volunteer and help others.
• And I certainly realized that I am not yet ready to be a housewife (in case you don't know, I'm not domestic!)
• I learnt to build websites
• I have explored places he never wanted me to explore (for safety or just being a control freak), and me life has been enriched and I came out of those amazing places a better person.
• And, I started yet another business, this time doing Proposals. Because once the pain healed, I realized I'm still a "romantic" at heart.

  I can say that the break-up made me grow up!

I also learnt that all is not as it seems when it comes to relationships. People lie, people are imperfect, people will hurt you. But you can forgive them and move on. By "moving on" I don't mean getting a new man in my life, rather I mean I was able to heal the wounds and find a new direction in my life. I was able to grow a backbone (although I always had one, but infatuation had hidden it for a time) and stand up for what I want and what I believe in. And by forgiving, I don't mean going back to that person, I mean forgiving him for the pain he caused me. In fact, if I had to see him today, I would probably thank him, for our break-up developed the woman I now am.

I am not sadistic, and I didn't enjoy the pain, but I am a different, better, stronger woman now than the little girl I was before.  I wont quickly get into a relationship again though, because I don't want to go through that pain again.

 This is why I say "I'm happy single", because its better than being unhappy and stuck in a miserable relationship or sitting alone in the cold and the dark with a broken heart. And I am certainly not looking for a man in my life.

I will also always bear my experiences in mind when I see young people getting into relationships, I will never tell teenagers that they are "mature beyond their age" or encourage  young romance - because that is what many well meaning friends and family tried to do to me, and I know how that turned out.

People tell me that no-one should say that their past made them who they are now. But that's just stupid, you build your life around past experiences. If the past never made you who you are today, then every day you would still not have learnt to open the glass doors instead of walk into them, every day you would still not be able to walk properly, you may not even be able to read! Because we learn from our pasts and we allow that to build us up, we don't make the same mistakes again, we become stronger, life teaches us that you cant walk through glass doors, that if you fall - you must get up. And so we learn to smile and say "there's a silver lining to every cloud - even if I cant see the silver lining yet!"

Wedding Planning vs Eloping

Before we get into this big debate: Personally I'm happily single right now. And no, that is not going to be changing any time soon as far as I am aware!

However, I have watched quite a few friends getting married. I haven't been to many weddings personally, and I really don't feel as though I have missed out on not going to weddings, honestly all the weddings I've ever been to are pretty darned boring (no offense to the couples, its just weddings are "bleh" in my opinion) and I would not have missed anything by not going.

 Engagement parties on the other hand, well those are much less formal and much more fun!

However I have to say, I really feel sorry for the bride and groom when it comes to planning their wedding.

Weddings are expensive, good service providers are often booked up to a year in advance. Not to mention venue hunting, just to find a venue that suits the couple and yet is still affordable.

Then there is the inevitable "Who do I invite?" question. Is it just close family? Or distant relatives? Is it close friends, or random acquaintances? And what about colleagues? Not forgetting that caterers charge per person.

There's the clothing issues, what dress - and what price tag. The suit/tux for the groom too. There's the flowers, the decor, and of course the "wedding party".

Photographs are a whole other thing, carefully choosing your photographer and what kind of photos are you going to have?

But then along comes great-aunt Mavis who insists that your 3rd cousins ex boyfriends sister-in-law must attend your wedding and is incredibly offended that you say no.

Or Mother Of The Bride has a disagreement with Mother Of The Groom over what shade of lilac each is going to wear.

Or the bride's maid who just doesn't suit wearing that color of plum.

That means a decent 6 months to a year of detailed planning, lots of stress and noses out of joint. The costs are also quite phenomenal, you will not get a wedding for under R10,000, however most weddings are upwards of R60,000!

And all for what? One measly day that is just a start of a lifetime! One day that hopefully will last a lifetime of happy memories.

Yes, I am speaking from experience and not just guess work. In 2010 I was planning my own wedding, I guess I could say fortunately, I didn't do too much as one thing led to another and everything fell through.

However, in hindsight, and looking at those whom I know are intending on tying the knot I see no reason why everyone doesn't just elope!

I Mean seriously guys, if your family and friends love you as a couple, they will understand. You pretty much just go away for the weekend and come back with a marriage certificate - kinda like they do "vegas weddings" in the movies.

Because really, I would rather get married that 6 - 12 months earlier and begin the new life than worry and fret over such petty things as flower arrangements and menu choices. 

I would rather spend that money I would have on a wedding on a new house, a new car, or the honeymoon.

Yes, perhaps have a photoshoot and have your parents and immediate siblings present, but why should anyone else really "HAVE" to be there? Yes, you can even have your pretty white wedding dress.

Because I will not ruin my future happiness because of stressing to please other people who wont be there when I actually need them.

So, in my opinion, IF I ever get married, I WILL elope. And you had better not be offended if you are not invited!

And for those of you who are "expecting an invite" to an upcoming wedding, even if its a "good friend"  --- DONT! Dont start going up to the engaged couple and asking them what colours their wedding is so that you can dress accordingly. Dont demand that a certain venue/food/decor item is used at their wedding (even if you're closely related), because its not your wedding!

Dont be offended/insulted if you dont get in an invite. And most of all  DO NOT GATECRASH!

Its just uncool if you do any of those things. If a couple wishes to keep their wedding small or simple, well its just not your place to get involved. Offer to help if you can, but don't demand or insist on your way, its not your day!

Rather celebrate the anniversaries, hopefully there will be many of those, than ruin the wedding day.

For those of you who are planning on getting married, if we're friends, know that I love you guys, I am happy for you, and I am also quite happy not to attend your wedding. That doesn't mean I have any ill wishes for you, I think you're great together, I wish you all of the best, and if you need my help in any way at all, just let me know.

Ok, so if you've read all the way to the end, well done. You make your choices, but as for me, one day you'll just see a random wedding photo of mine and that will be that.

Durban's Top 20

Its a well known fact that Durban is a major tourist destination.
 Each year thousands of people flock to Durban to enjoy our hot sunshine, warm waters and friendly people. The tourist brochure or Durban abound, from the "What, Where, When" and the "What's On", to the online guides like www.durbanexperience.com  , visitors are spoilt for choice.


However, many of the best places to see and activities to do in this city are actually NOT listed on those "Main Stream" info guides.


 As a local to Durban, I have put together two TOP TEN lists.
One is the more mainstream thing that every person in Durban Should experience at least once, and are listed in hundreds of places.  If you haven't done one of these yet, make a date and go do it! For those I haven't yet done, I have set the date!
 The other is my own personal list of places to go to, and things to see that most people don't know about in this city.
You may notice I have purposely stayed away from listing Malls and Beaches. Malls can be found anywhere and really do not show what a city or country is truly like. Beaches, well I've avoided that because its just a known fact that Durban's Beaches are the best in the country :-)

Enjoy, and feel free to comment below with your "Top Ten" lists.




Top Ten Mainstream Durban Attractions
1. Moses Mabhida Stadium - This stadium was built just in time for the 2010 FIFA world cup in South Africa. It is now a major icon of the Durban skyline.  Stadium tours are available and many people do the "SkyCar" ride up the arch to the viewing deck. The first Saturday of every month there is the prestigious IHEARTMARKET held in the People's Park on the border of the stadium.
 Personally I have not yet done the whole "Moses Mabhida" thing, although I did attend the Neil Diamond concert at the stadium in 2011.



Moses Mabhida Stadium - Photo Credit Amelia Byrne

uShaka Marine World - This aquarium and water fun park rolled into one has been a major tourist attraction for Durban and KZN since the early 2000s. The dolphin shows are always a hit. Personally being the water baby that I am, although I dont go often (been twice in the last 13 odd years), I love the water park and the rides!

1. Umgeni Bird Park - Probably one of my all time favourite places in Durban, the Umgeni bird park has a vibrant history. It nearly closed down a few years ago, but then the municipality decided to subsidise it. With its thousands of colourful birds, many of them in open air areas, and its great breeding program, I would totally recommend this to everyone.

Photo credit to Instagram user @joelenejetnarayan

1. Durban Botanical Gardens - While this is certainly not as fabulous as the Pietermaritzburg National Botanical Gardens, the Durban Botanical Gardens is a breathe of fresh air. It has an exciting Orchid House, rolling and landscaped lawns, fountains and sundials. Oh, and if you're a Geocacher, it has a few fun Geocaches too. About once a month there is also an open air concert by the lake at the gardens with artists like Jonny Clegg and Mango Groove.

1. Natal Sharks Board - Durban and in fact a lot of the East Coast boasts safe beaches thanks to the tireless work of the Natal Sharks Board. These are the people who maintain the sharknets off of our coastline. You can go with them for a "Nets Inspection" tour at the crack of dawn out to sea. You can also do a tour at their main buildings in Umhlanga, where you can see a shark museum, watch a video about what they do, explore a cool Shark curio shop and get involved in a shark dissection.

1. Fun World - Yet another of the "old" icons of Durban, many people think of an amusement park as a thing for the kids. However there are many rides in this amusement park that are great fun for the adults too. And of course there's a cable car, who can say no to a cable car?

Funworld - Picture Credit Instargram user @princethreelife

1. The BAT center -  personally I have never been here, its on my list of things to do. However I'm told that is a pretty rad place to see young up & coming talent.  Young artists and musicians are regularly featured here.

1. Florida Road - Florida road is well known to be the party & eating out district of Durban. With literally hundreds of restaurants and cafes along Florida road, it is said that there is a taste and an atmosphere here for everyone.

1. Durban City Hall - This magnificent structure was built in the early 1900 and is host to the mayor's offices, the Durban Art Gallery, the Natural Science Museum, a Public Library, and the main auditorium. The KZN Philharmonic Orchestra perform here every Thursday night.

1. Victoria Street Market -  I personally love the hustle and bustle of a thriving Indian market. I cannot imagine anyone not enjoying browsing through the hundreds of Indian stalls (and not so Indian stalls), with the smell of spices and all the colourful and bright things to catch your eye.



Victoria Street Market - Picture credit Instagram User 


pixanator



Top Ten not so well advertised Durban attractions
2. The Stables Flea Market - This used to be a major attraction of Durban, but lately it seems to not be advertised as well. Still, I am a big fan of flea markets and as such this hits up on my list of awesome things to do.

1. Sugar Terminals - Still fairly well known, however many people skip this in thoughts that its just an educational thing for kids. Truth be told, its pretty exciting to see the story in action (not just in school) of how sugar got to you. And it makes you feel pretty small standing next to a 3 or 4 story high mountain of sugar.

Sugar Terminals - Picture credit Instagram User @princethreelife

1. Sail Durban Harbour - You can choose to get a ride on a commercial boat that does harbour tours, or hire your own catamaran for a cruise around Durban's Harbour. This gives you a whole new perspective on Durban, and is especially great for the photographer in you. Try it at sunset with champagne ;-)

Picture Credit Amelia Byrne

1. Heliflip over Durban - For those who are willing to splash out (or for those of us who are lucky enough to do it for work) this is an opportunity not to be missed! Seeing Durban from the sky is incredible! Flying down the golden mile, and over the harbour entrance, seeing Suncoast, Moses Mabhida and the Bird Park from the air, and having photos to prove it, if you can afford this, do it!

Picture Credit Amelia Byrne

1. Train Ride - I'm not talking the Inchanga Choochoo here, I mean go to the metro rail and buy a return ticket to any destination. The metro rail in Durban recently had an overhaul, now the stations are all clean and modern, the trains are in good nick, and there is security on board. Its not recommended that you take expensive valuables with you, and you should go with others, not alone. However this gives you an amazing opportunity to meet interesting people on the train, and to see amazing views that you would have never seen before. The plus side is that it should cost you less than R30pp for a return trip (almost anywhere in the DBN Metro)

1. Millennium Tower - Ok, so getting in to see the millennium tower is darn near impossible unless you "know a guy", however the millennium tower boasts an incredible 360 degree view of Durban and is really another icon of Durban. I have been up it once, many years back, unfortunately due to national security, they do not allow cell phones or cameras up there.

1. Hashtag restaurant - Its a new restaurant at the old (legendary) Bean Bag Bohemia, and this Social Media inspired restaurant gives Bean Bag a good run for the claim of fame. Still new, its not too well known, yet!

1. Kennith Stainbank Nature Reserve - Although Durban is home to many small green areas, Stainbank is one of the few which still has Zebra and Impala roaming wild inside its fences. It also has a real castle steeped in history, and an art gallery that has just recently opened up. You can do hikes and mountain biking in the reserve, and one thing I so love about it is that its just around the corner.

1. Horseback Beach Adventures - Many people dream of going Horse Riding on the Beach, Durban has one of the few places in South Africa that you can experience this. This establishment is fairly strict, however that's what keeps them and their horses world class. They have been operating in the area south of Durban since 1995. If you're lucky, you may even watch a proposal while you ride with them.

Proposals with horses! - Photo Credit Horse Beach Rides (http://instagram.com/horsebeachrides)

1. Maritime Museum - Ok, so the child in me is brought out when I think of the Maritime Museum. Its a museum in the harbour that is made up of a room full of all things maritime, aaaaand three ships that you get to climb into and explore (I have always wanted to play a game of hide & seek at this place) inside even down to the engine rooms. Its great fun for the whole family (ok probably not for grandparents who cannot climb up and down), and definitely something everyone should do at least once.